Tuesday 10 August 2010

Turf trading brings thistle risk

We are traveling to the Wirral next week to play in Jack Rabbit Slims in Hoylake on Tueday the 17th of August. 7 Waves Radio are doing a live broadcast and we are, therefore, going to be broadcast live. All fine and dandy, but I have been instructed to keep the language clean, which presents a bit of a problem.

Normally when I’m doing my thing, playing guitar and singing at the same time, I try not to concentrate too hard on what I am doing, letting all those practice sessions take over and just let it happen. As Bruce Lee says “Don’t think! Feeeeeewl.” It’s a bit like that. Disengage the rational mind. Otherwise I have a tendency to get a bit confused and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, which might result in me falling over or soiling myself or both. Now I have to remember not to sing “fuck” in Hell Jim Hell and “fucking” in Sanity Check. I’m not 100% confident that I’ll be able to remember to do that successfully.

My plan is to substitute it for another word if I remember to or, if I forget, I can say I used, thus giving me a plausible level of deniability. So far the words I have been considering are:

Fugg
Fuff
Fung
Funge
Funt
Fud

Each of which can be given an “ing” for deployment in Sanity Check:

Fugging
Fuffing
Funging
Fungeing
Funting
Fudding

I am also pondering the word Fum as in “I fummed your wife, she sucked my duck.”

What do we think? Which should I use? What’s the worst that can happen?

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