Oh I am a happy bunny. Two glowing write ups of our album. That’s a lot of nice words. I shall let it go to my head for a moment. But only a moment otherwise I shall become insufferable.
In addition to this glow I also have the additional pleasure of having set up Ronny Kong Studios MkII in the front bedroom. Everything is arranged neatly and there is a place for everything. I even have space to expand my setup. More metal boxes! More patch leads! More plugs! More dusting….
I am a bit of a technophile when it comes to recording equipment. The problem is I don’t have the spare cash to indulge myself. There are a multitude of things out there which I would love to order and possess and plug in. If only I could get away with not paying the rent for the month and not eating and not paying any bills, I would be able to satisfy my urges for at least a year. Oh well.
Two weeks until our first Death Tax Trouble extravaganza! I have been looking forward to rehearsal all week. Hopefully I will be able to get all the words to our 4, yes 4, new songs in the right place and in the right language. For those who are interested in such things our next set list will run thus:
1. Curtains
2. More
3. Facts
4. Wear & Replace
5. Lips Limbs Lungs
6. Brick
7. Being Boiled (yes, by the Human League!)
8. Dull Boy
9. Sanity Check
If you’ve acquired a copy of the album then you will notice that this set list does not include a substantial number of the songs on it. This is the inevitable result of progress! But new is good, and our new tunes are also good. Our direction of travel is now taking us from the Empirical to the Rational. If Removal Music is David Hume then this next phase is a bit more Rene Descartes. I reserve the right to retract that statement after I have thought about it a bit more. Anyhoo, maybe see you on the 25th of September.
Thursday, 16 September 2010
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Dancing gulls all over the park
I have been moving house. I have been putting things in boxes, putting boxes in piles, piling boxes into a van, unloading a van, moving boxes into a house and then taking things out of boxes. Last night I filled a wardrobe with bass guitars. Tonight I will find a home for a legion of socks and pants.
Our first album is out and about and people seem to like it. Tony at Liverpool Bands gave us a very nice write up, which gave my ego a very pleasant burnish. Of course, now it is finished the only thing to do it make a new one. So far we have four songs, in various states of repair. The impact of moving house will become apparent when we start recording them since I will no longer be using the carpeted dining room of an end of terrace house, but the front bedroom of a mid terrace house which has bare floorboards. I am sure this will have massive ramifications for the sound. Colossal, gigantic, enormous.
We have booked the acts for our first regular night Death, Tax, Trouble in the basement under News from Nowhere on Bold Street. It’s on the 25th of September and I would encourage you to come along and bring a carrier bag of Buckfast with you, or maybe a bottle of Crème de Menthe.
Our first album is out and about and people seem to like it. Tony at Liverpool Bands gave us a very nice write up, which gave my ego a very pleasant burnish. Of course, now it is finished the only thing to do it make a new one. So far we have four songs, in various states of repair. The impact of moving house will become apparent when we start recording them since I will no longer be using the carpeted dining room of an end of terrace house, but the front bedroom of a mid terrace house which has bare floorboards. I am sure this will have massive ramifications for the sound. Colossal, gigantic, enormous.
We have booked the acts for our first regular night Death, Tax, Trouble in the basement under News from Nowhere on Bold Street. It’s on the 25th of September and I would encourage you to come along and bring a carrier bag of Buckfast with you, or maybe a bottle of Crème de Menthe.
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
I embody the Will-to-Poop
I have been struggling with writing a press release for our new record. I have discovered that this is not an easy process. Firstly I’m not completely sure how you go about describing a record. What metaphors best sum up this thing:
It sounds like a muddy shoe
It sounds like a rotten peach
It sounds like a violent worm
It sounds like a lonely bucket
It sounds like a stranger’s car
It sounds like a badly executed perm
It sounds like a dumpy nun
It sounds like a boiled egg
It sounds like two boiled eggs
It sounds like a poo at a motorway service station
It sounds like Gene Wilder
It does not sound like Gene Wilder
It sounds like a presidential veto
It sounds like a fingerless glove
I don’t know. What I should have done is kept all those copies of Melody Maker I bought when I was a student and just cut out words from those. However, as far as I recall, the majority of the words would be “polemic”. They used that word a lot back then. I have never used it personally, apart from just then, but that is hardly using it, I simply displayed it, which is different from using it. Discuss.
Whilst I am writing this I am waiting for a response from Rocky after sending him the first draft. I hope he isn’t disappointed. Yesterday I left a message on his answer machine in what I had intended would be an Italian accent. However it came out more French than Italian. This is because, I realized, I can only do a convincing Italian accent when shouting and since I was at work at the time and the message contained the words “I will shoot you in the face” it was probably wise not to shout it. These are the things we artists have to struggle with you know.
We are playing in the shop window this Saturday. My mother is coming to see me. I am going to have to sing the words “I stink of semen” to her, as well as the rest of the street. I expect this will require some explanation afterwards, if not therapy for all concerned. These are the things we artists have to struggle with.
It sounds like a muddy shoe
It sounds like a rotten peach
It sounds like a violent worm
It sounds like a lonely bucket
It sounds like a stranger’s car
It sounds like a badly executed perm
It sounds like a dumpy nun
It sounds like a boiled egg
It sounds like two boiled eggs
It sounds like a poo at a motorway service station
It sounds like Gene Wilder
It does not sound like Gene Wilder
It sounds like a presidential veto
It sounds like a fingerless glove
I don’t know. What I should have done is kept all those copies of Melody Maker I bought when I was a student and just cut out words from those. However, as far as I recall, the majority of the words would be “polemic”. They used that word a lot back then. I have never used it personally, apart from just then, but that is hardly using it, I simply displayed it, which is different from using it. Discuss.
Whilst I am writing this I am waiting for a response from Rocky after sending him the first draft. I hope he isn’t disappointed. Yesterday I left a message on his answer machine in what I had intended would be an Italian accent. However it came out more French than Italian. This is because, I realized, I can only do a convincing Italian accent when shouting and since I was at work at the time and the message contained the words “I will shoot you in the face” it was probably wise not to shout it. These are the things we artists have to struggle with you know.
We are playing in the shop window this Saturday. My mother is coming to see me. I am going to have to sing the words “I stink of semen” to her, as well as the rest of the street. I expect this will require some explanation afterwards, if not therapy for all concerned. These are the things we artists have to struggle with.
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Like hot sauce on a cuban heel.
Last night we spent an entertaining few hours filming ourselves for the video for Sanity Check. I do not believe my hair put in a very good performance, but there’s not a lot I can do about that. My hair is self employed and if I criticize it too much it might just decide to leave and I don’t want that.
We also started work on our new cover song last night, to be unveiled on the 25th of September. I think it’s going to be pretty epic, not in terms of length but in terms of width. It’s going to have a lot of girth to it, which is a good thing so I am told.
We may have a couple of new tunes ready for September as well. One is a bit of a Krautrock steam locomotive that has made a bid for freedom, jumped the rails and is escaping down the autobahn. The other one is a bit harder to describe. It goes rurr rurr ruur, and then boodonk boodonk and then there’s a bit of nang nang nang nang nang before we get back to the rurrs. I’m sure you know what I mean.
Over the weekend I made Danish pastry. Not Danish Pastries, but pastry from a Danish recipe. It involved plain flour, bit of salt, butter and a big old dollop of cream. It was really very easy and very nice. So now, when you hear someone say “Danish Pastry” make sure you know whether they mean the puff pastry and cinnamon concoction or whether they are simply referring to a recipe from Denmark. It could save your life.
We also started work on our new cover song last night, to be unveiled on the 25th of September. I think it’s going to be pretty epic, not in terms of length but in terms of width. It’s going to have a lot of girth to it, which is a good thing so I am told.
We may have a couple of new tunes ready for September as well. One is a bit of a Krautrock steam locomotive that has made a bid for freedom, jumped the rails and is escaping down the autobahn. The other one is a bit harder to describe. It goes rurr rurr ruur, and then boodonk boodonk and then there’s a bit of nang nang nang nang nang before we get back to the rurrs. I’m sure you know what I mean.
Over the weekend I made Danish pastry. Not Danish Pastries, but pastry from a Danish recipe. It involved plain flour, bit of salt, butter and a big old dollop of cream. It was really very easy and very nice. So now, when you hear someone say “Danish Pastry” make sure you know whether they mean the puff pastry and cinnamon concoction or whether they are simply referring to a recipe from Denmark. It could save your life.
Friday, 13 August 2010
Yorrrr oveeerrr the hill riiiide naaaaw
Our gig on Tuesday is cancelled. Not too sure why, but it is fine by me. I was a bit bothered by the prospect of changing words in songs. It just didn’t sit right with me at all. So I’m glad I won’t have to do it!
Rehearsal last night and work is progressing apace on our next collection of tunes. One opus finishes, onwards to the next! So far we have three tunes, one of which we are already playing out and about and which I am yet to play properly. But that’s alright, it’s still cool. It’s nice to not have any deadlines or anything, just the opportunity to work on things and keep our creative juices flowing.
The dates have been booked for our regular music nights in Next to Nowhere on Bold Street. The first one will be on Saturday September the 25th and we are currently looking for the right acts on put on. We are open to suggestions and offers….
That is about it. I’m off to the opening of the Nerve Centre event tonight. To find out more about it, and what we will be doing, have a look here: http://www.catalystmedia.org.uk/
Rehearsal last night and work is progressing apace on our next collection of tunes. One opus finishes, onwards to the next! So far we have three tunes, one of which we are already playing out and about and which I am yet to play properly. But that’s alright, it’s still cool. It’s nice to not have any deadlines or anything, just the opportunity to work on things and keep our creative juices flowing.
The dates have been booked for our regular music nights in Next to Nowhere on Bold Street. The first one will be on Saturday September the 25th and we are currently looking for the right acts on put on. We are open to suggestions and offers….
That is about it. I’m off to the opening of the Nerve Centre event tonight. To find out more about it, and what we will be doing, have a look here: http://www.catalystmedia.org.uk/
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Turf trading brings thistle risk
We are traveling to the Wirral next week to play in Jack Rabbit Slims in Hoylake on Tueday the 17th of August. 7 Waves Radio are doing a live broadcast and we are, therefore, going to be broadcast live. All fine and dandy, but I have been instructed to keep the language clean, which presents a bit of a problem.
Normally when I’m doing my thing, playing guitar and singing at the same time, I try not to concentrate too hard on what I am doing, letting all those practice sessions take over and just let it happen. As Bruce Lee says “Don’t think! Feeeeeewl.” It’s a bit like that. Disengage the rational mind. Otherwise I have a tendency to get a bit confused and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, which might result in me falling over or soiling myself or both. Now I have to remember not to sing “fuck” in Hell Jim Hell and “fucking” in Sanity Check. I’m not 100% confident that I’ll be able to remember to do that successfully.
My plan is to substitute it for another word if I remember to or, if I forget, I can say I used, thus giving me a plausible level of deniability. So far the words I have been considering are:
Fugg
Fuff
Fung
Funge
Funt
Fud
Each of which can be given an “ing” for deployment in Sanity Check:
Fugging
Fuffing
Funging
Fungeing
Funting
Fudding
I am also pondering the word Fum as in “I fummed your wife, she sucked my duck.”
What do we think? Which should I use? What’s the worst that can happen?
Normally when I’m doing my thing, playing guitar and singing at the same time, I try not to concentrate too hard on what I am doing, letting all those practice sessions take over and just let it happen. As Bruce Lee says “Don’t think! Feeeeeewl.” It’s a bit like that. Disengage the rational mind. Otherwise I have a tendency to get a bit confused and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, which might result in me falling over or soiling myself or both. Now I have to remember not to sing “fuck” in Hell Jim Hell and “fucking” in Sanity Check. I’m not 100% confident that I’ll be able to remember to do that successfully.
My plan is to substitute it for another word if I remember to or, if I forget, I can say I used, thus giving me a plausible level of deniability. So far the words I have been considering are:
Fugg
Fuff
Fung
Funge
Funt
Fud
Each of which can be given an “ing” for deployment in Sanity Check:
Fugging
Fuffing
Funging
Fungeing
Funting
Fudding
I am also pondering the word Fum as in “I fummed your wife, she sucked my duck.”
What do we think? Which should I use? What’s the worst that can happen?
Monday, 9 August 2010
Drunken owl ruins tortoise race for vole jockeys
What a jolly day Thursday was. We had a nice drive up to Southport, looking at the views and the architecture. There’s some pretty intense architecture, I can tell you. The Herald was a very friendly place and I felt quite at home there. If it was not miles and miles away I would make it my regular boozer.
Vision Thing and sound man Dan made life very easy for us and they were all so nice! And they played well and made good sound respectively. So I think we will definitely be going back.
Amusing technical things which happened: somehow between doing the sound check and starting our set I managed to change my guitar sound from the reasonable mellow and muddy sound I like to something which really required the wearing of skin tight leather trousers, spiked wrist bands and a maybe a muscle vest. It was awful. What made it worse was the fact that I left it alone for about four songs. I have experienced things sounding different once the gig started before, so I assumed that it was just my ears deceiving me, or the effect of the sound bouncing of the bar maid’s head or something. But after starting our new song “Wear and Replace” and it sounding like Eddie Van Halen’s Jump (which it really shouldn’t) I accepted something was afoot.
The guitar was also very loud, so loud you could smell it. And my hair kept going in my mouth.
After we had played we watched Vision Thing do their, um, thing, and very enjoyable it was as well. All the people came to the front and there was a really warm atmosphere. I have never managed to elicit that kind of goodwill from an audience. Maybe it is my brand of deodorant that is to blame. Must be.
Our maiden album is finished and the artwork has gone to the printers. If you want one just leave a message on facebook and we will sort you out.
Vision Thing and sound man Dan made life very easy for us and they were all so nice! And they played well and made good sound respectively. So I think we will definitely be going back.
Amusing technical things which happened: somehow between doing the sound check and starting our set I managed to change my guitar sound from the reasonable mellow and muddy sound I like to something which really required the wearing of skin tight leather trousers, spiked wrist bands and a maybe a muscle vest. It was awful. What made it worse was the fact that I left it alone for about four songs. I have experienced things sounding different once the gig started before, so I assumed that it was just my ears deceiving me, or the effect of the sound bouncing of the bar maid’s head or something. But after starting our new song “Wear and Replace” and it sounding like Eddie Van Halen’s Jump (which it really shouldn’t) I accepted something was afoot.
The guitar was also very loud, so loud you could smell it. And my hair kept going in my mouth.
After we had played we watched Vision Thing do their, um, thing, and very enjoyable it was as well. All the people came to the front and there was a really warm atmosphere. I have never managed to elicit that kind of goodwill from an audience. Maybe it is my brand of deodorant that is to blame. Must be.
Our maiden album is finished and the artwork has gone to the printers. If you want one just leave a message on facebook and we will sort you out.
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