Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Turf trading brings thistle risk

We are traveling to the Wirral next week to play in Jack Rabbit Slims in Hoylake on Tueday the 17th of August. 7 Waves Radio are doing a live broadcast and we are, therefore, going to be broadcast live. All fine and dandy, but I have been instructed to keep the language clean, which presents a bit of a problem.

Normally when I’m doing my thing, playing guitar and singing at the same time, I try not to concentrate too hard on what I am doing, letting all those practice sessions take over and just let it happen. As Bruce Lee says “Don’t think! Feeeeeewl.” It’s a bit like that. Disengage the rational mind. Otherwise I have a tendency to get a bit confused and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, which might result in me falling over or soiling myself or both. Now I have to remember not to sing “fuck” in Hell Jim Hell and “fucking” in Sanity Check. I’m not 100% confident that I’ll be able to remember to do that successfully.

My plan is to substitute it for another word if I remember to or, if I forget, I can say I used, thus giving me a plausible level of deniability. So far the words I have been considering are:

Fugg
Fuff
Fung
Funge
Funt
Fud

Each of which can be given an “ing” for deployment in Sanity Check:

Fugging
Fuffing
Funging
Fungeing
Funting
Fudding

I am also pondering the word Fum as in “I fummed your wife, she sucked my duck.”

What do we think? Which should I use? What’s the worst that can happen?

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